Magic Statistics

“I accept no responsibility for statistics, which are a form of magic beyond my comprehension.” — Robertson Davies

December 9th, 2006 at 9:54 pm

How not to get a job

Killian Advertising has a long page of excerpts from poorly written and unintentionally hilarious cover letters.  Here are a few examples.  As you read these, keep in mind that they were written by people who want to be hired.

"I also have a degree English which serves me well in editing text for poor grammer or typos."

"I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly."

"… But that's the past. I've given them a year of my life in a minimum security work camp and I'm nearing work release status where I'll be for the next 15 months or so… I need to connect with open-minded people like myself! My crime was a 'non-violent, victimless' one. I'm hoping this letter is reaching people who have or do smoke weed …"

"I would like to start learning from a pronoun company and I feel as if Killian & Co. Advertising will give me the opportunity I am looking for."

"I am a motivated, self-igniting person who greatly entertains the challenges of bettering myself and the performance of work that I do."

Read the whole thing.  Watch for the cover letter written as a poem based on “Twas the Night Before Christmas”.

h/t: ShopFloor.org

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December 9th, 2006 at 9:15 pm

Law professors admit agenda to frustrate will of Parliament

Earlier this week Ontario judge Michael Moldaver laid into defence lawyers for prolonging legal proceedings and delaying justice by filing dubious motions invoking alleged Charter rights.  Two law professors have taken up the challenge of defending lawyers against Justice Moldaver’s accusations.

To be honest, though, I’m not sure this precisely qualifies as a defence.  The professors don’t deny that lawyers are doing what the judge accuses them of; rather, they say, “Yeah, lawyers are doing it, and that’s a good thing.”  With defendants like these, who needs plaintiffs?

Mr. Justice Michael Moldaver of the Ontario Court of Appeal recently spoke out about what he sees as a cancer on our justice system — punishingly long and needlessly complex criminal trials. He sees the problem as multifaceted, but, in identifying the cause, he tends to focus on the Charter of Rights and Freedoms and defence lawyers. He sees defence counsel as more concerned with dragging out proceedings with bogus Charter motions to maximize their fees than they are with acting out of a concern for justice.

This is a serious charge against both the Charter and the defence bar, especially coming from someone as respected as Judge Moldaver. In our view, the judge has unfairly targeted all defence counsel.

His remarks are also disturbing to those of us who see the judicial assertion of entrenched Charter standards since 1982 as having constituted the only real check against the lure of law-and-order politics by politicians of all stripes, and the consequent unremittingly legislative trend to toughen the criminal law.

Did they just admit that their agenda is to hinder law-and-order policies sought by our parliamentarians elected in accordance with the will of the people?  What breathtaking arrogance!

Who told the legal profession that it runs Canada?  I was around during the early-1980s debates over the institution and entrenchment of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and I don’t recall anyone suggesting that the Charter gave lawyers and judges the authority to govern our country.  Why, then, has it worked out that way?  Who is in charge: the people or our unelected robed and wigged masters?

Also, the professors misrepresent the judge’s criticisms: he did not “focus on the Charter of Rights and Freedoms and defence lawyers” as the causes of the problems he’s concerned about.  He focused solely on the lawyers’ abuse of the Charter.  Or are the profs claiming that never happens?

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December 9th, 2006 at 4:50 pm

Hatred and tolerance cut Muslims off from Christ

John Piper says two forces that modern society thinks of as opposites are combining to prevent Muslims from embracing the saving gospel of Jesus.  Muslims, like everyone else, need to believe that Christ’s death paid the penalty for their sins and act accordingly, or else God’s plan of salvation is closed to them.  Hatred and tolerance, however, are blocking the way for Muslims to receive the good news.

Hatred, manifested in vilification of and violence against Muslims who have committed no wrong, hinders them from seeking and knowing Christ.

We justify our own little jihad, and seek our satisfaction by injuring the adversary. But true Christians treasure Jesus above vengeance, and do not rob Muslim people of truth and hope in this way. Christians would rather suffer to show the supreme worth of Christ. They crucify the craving of hate in their own hearts. They long for Muslims to see Jesus for who he really is. They know that eternal life is at stake - for both.

At the same time, politically correct tolerance and pluralism sends the message that Muslims can come to God by ways other than through Jesus.  Tolerance is a good because it recognises the importance of personal freedom in religious conviction, but today tolerance has been distorted to mean that no conviction may be considered more excellent than any other.

If, in the name of this new tolerance, we are forbidden to say of Jesus, "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12), then eternal life is concealed and we are cruel.

Therefore let us open the door of life for all Muslim people by renouncing hate, showing love, conquering fear, commending the King of the universe, Jesus Christ, and suffering willingly, if we must.

h/t: Persecuted Church Weblog

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December 9th, 2006 at 3:55 pm

Gun shop stick-up nets $25

Last week a 21-year-old man went to a gun shop in Wasilla, Alaska, and demanded a refund for a gun he had purchased the previous weekend.  When told he couldn't get his money back, he got stupid nasty.

An Anchorage man has been charged with pulling a gun and demanding money at a gun store in Wasilla.

Wasilla police on Tuesday arrested Christopher G. Irick, 21. He is charged with two counts of assault plus robbery and resisting arrest.

Federal law prohibits cash refunds for guns and ammunition, but the store clerks offered to exchange the weapon for another.  Not good enough, so the guy pulled out his gun, grabbed the money from the till, and drove off.

Irick was upset with the arrangement and pulled a gun. The person working the counter opened the till and Irick left with his refund, [deputy police chief Angella] Long said.

"I think that he actually got away with $25," Long said. "He wanted his money back; that was the bottom line."

Someone in the gun shop followed the man out and wrote down his licence number as he drove away.  Several police officers subsequently arrested him at his home in Anchorage.  For good measure, he assaulted one of them as they hauled him off to the pogey.

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December 9th, 2006 at 3:35 pm

Interesting combination of quizzes

You are 86% Canuck!

You rock, you are an almighty Canadian through and through. You have proven your worthiness and have won the elite prize of living in a country as awesome as Canada. Yes I know other countries think they are better, but we let them have that cuz we know better than they do, eh?

How Canadian Are You?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

You are 87% English.

Congratulations! You may now take your place as a subject of Her Majesty. "And did those feet In ancient times, Walk upon England's mountains green? And was the holy Lamb of God In England's pleasant pastures seen?" Well, no, but it's a cracking good tune.

How English are you?
Create a Quiz

That seems about right.

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