Magic Statistics

“I accept no responsibility for statistics, which are a form of magic beyond my comprehension.” — Robertson Davies

November 21st, 2005 at 6:18 pm

Fran?ßois Mitterand, prophet

According to a soon-to-be-released book by François Mitterand's psychoanalyst Ali Magoudi, the late French President thought British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher "an impossible woman". As the Falklands War was getting underway in May 1982, Mrs Thatcher intimidated Mr Mitterand into handing over secret codes to render ineffective the Exocet missiles the French had sold to the Argentinians. As Mr Magoudi reports the conversation, Mitterand sounded very distressed:

"I have been forced to yield. She has them now, the codes. If our customers find out that the French wreck the weapons they sell, it’s not going to reflect well on our exports."

When asked how he felt about being "symbolically emasculated" (Is Mr Magoudi a Freudian by any chance?), Mitterand says he'll have the last laugh.

"Her island, it’s me who will destroy it. Her island, I swear that soon it will no longer be one. I will take my revenge. I will tie England to Europe, despite its natural tendency for isolation. How? I will build a tunnel under the Channel. Yes. I will succeed where Napoleon III failed."

Clearly delighted with his vision, Mr Mitterrand had no doubt he would persuade Thatcher to accept the tunnel. I will flatter her shopkeeper spirit. "I will tell her that the welding to the Continent will not cost the crown one kopeck. She will not resist this resonant argument."

The prophet Mitterand knew his rival only too well, it seems. He has his revenge.

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November 21st, 2005 at 6:10 am

A prayer of Lady Jane Grey

Latest in an occasional series of prayers by Christians of ages past. Previous entry here; complete list of entries here.

O merciful God, be unto me a strong tower of defence; give me grace to await your leisure and patiently to bear what you are doing to me; nothing doubting or mistrusting your goodness towards me; for you know what is good for me better than I do. Therefore do with me in all things what you will; only arm me, I beseech you, with your armour, that I may stand fast; above all things, taking to me the shield of faith; praying always that I may refer myself wholly to your will, abiding your pleasure and comforting myself in these troubles which it shall please you to send me, seeing such troubles are profitable for me; and I am assuredly persuaded that all you do cannot but be well; and unto you be all honor and glory; Amen.

Lady Jane Grey (1537-1554), Great-granddaughter of King Henry VII;
Charged with treason and beheaded.

At the age of 16, Lady Jane Grey was proclaimed Queen of England and Ireland, apparently against her wishes. A pawn in a religious and political power struggle following the death of the boy king Edward VI, she was deposed after nine days on the throne, imprisoned in the Tower of London, and executed the following year.

The Church of England separated from the Roman Catholic Church under Henry VIII. When Henry died in 1547, his only son Edward ascended to the throne at the age of 9. Because he was a minor, the country was actually governed by the Lord Protector, though the king took a keen interest in national business. Edward became a convinced Lutheran in theology, and his reign was marked by determined efforts to make England a thoroughly Protestant nation.

As the king’s health deteriorated in the early 1550s, he and the Lord Protector, John Dudley, Duke of Northumberland, worried that the cause of Protestantism would be jeopardized if Henry’s eldest daughter Mary, a staunch Roman Catholic, became queen. So, the Lord Protector persuaded the king to will the throne to his cousin Lady Jane Grey, even though she was not first in line to the throne. (She followed after Edward’s two half-sisters Mary and Elizabeth, and perhaps others as well). The Duke of Northumberland had an ulterior motive for this illegal manoeuvre–to advance his family's ambitions. His son Lord Guildford Dudley had married Lady Jane.

Lady Jane Grey was crowned Queen on 10 July 1553. Her father-in-law and other members of the nobility were, however, shocked to see that Mary had the support of the people. Mary marched to London with an army to claim the throne; Lady Jane was deposed without a struggle and imprisoned on 19 July.

About six months later, a failed rebellion against Queen Mary convinced her that Lady Jane Grey had to be neutralized as a threat to her sovereignty. Lady Jane was offered the option of converting to Roman Catholicism, which carried with it recognition of Mary’s claim to the throne. Even though she desperately wanted freedom to live a normal life, Lady Jane could not be persuaded to accept Catholic doctrines. She was beheaded at Tower Hill on 12 February 1554.

Several web sites have extensive information on Lady Jane Grey. Two of the best are located here and here.

No known portraits of Lady Jane Grey are universally accepted as authentic. The picture posted here is supposed to be contemporary, and so has some claim to be accurate.

Paul Delaroche’s beautiful 1833 painting The Execution of Lady Jane Grey, a very evocative and romantic work, is inaccurate, unfortunately.

Source of prayer: The Communion of Saints: Prayers of the Famous, edited by Horton Davies.

UPDATE (17 Jan. 2006): A purportedly authentic portrait has been discovered, but that claim is under dispute.

UPDATE (6 Mar. 2007): Another portrait has been identified as authentic.

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